Seven reasons to forget "Seven Pounds"

Yeah, I've seen "Seven Pounds," the new movie that reunites Will Smith with Gabriele Muccino, who directed him in 2007's "Pursuit of Happyness." This time, Smith -- joined by Rosario Dawson -- brings an inspirational weepy to the multiplex -- and, no, it's not much good. Smith plays Ben Thomas, a guy who visits a bunch of folks as a murky story unfolds. Smith's supposed to be an IRS agent, but instead of driving people crazy about their taxes, he tries to help them. The plot is structured as a mystery so that we're not sure what's motivating Thomas' actions until the very end. Here are seven reasons why I'm not writing anything more about this downbeat, logic-challenged movie.

-- I haven't finished reading today's New York Times.
-- I also haven't finished Julian Barnes' "Nothing To Be Frightened Of," a wonderfully written book that's part memoir and part philosophical speculation about death.
--I don't want to ponder why Will Smith looks different in this movie. The hair? The teeth? If I do, then I'll have to consider why Tom Cruise looked a little weird the other night on David Letterman. Loss of weight?
--I have a cold.
--I refuse to think ill of Rosario Dawson.
--Given the state of the economy, I don't need additional reasons to feel depressed.
--If I were going to shed tears, it would be for the declining fortunes of American newspapers, including the one where I used to work.